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ATONESFORTHEUNPOLITENESSOFAFORMER
CHAPTER；WHICHDESERTEDALADY，MOSTUNCEREMONIOUSLY
Asitwouldbe，bynomeans，seemlyinahumbleauthortokeepsomightyapersonageasabeadlewaiting，withhisbacktothefire，andtheskirtsofhiscoatgatheredupunderhisarms，untilsuchtimeasitmightsuithispleasuretorelievehim；andasitwouldstilllessbecomehisstation，orhisgallantrytoinvolveinthesameneglectaladyonwhomthatbeadlehadlookedwithaneyeoftendernessandaffection，andinwhoseearhehadwhisperedsweetwords，which，comingfromsuchaquarter，mightwellthrillthebosomofmaidormatronofwhatsoeverdegree；thehistorianwhosepentracesthesewords--trustingthatheknowshisplace，andthatheentertainsabecomingreverenceforthoseuponearthtowhomhighandimportantauthorityisdelegated--hastenstopaythemthatrespectwhichtheirpositiondemands，andtotreatthemwithallthatduteousceremonywhichtheirexaltedrank，and（byconsequence）greatvirtues，imperativelyclaimathishands。Towardsthisend，indeed，hehadpurposedtointroduce，inthisplace，adissertationtouchingthedivinerightofbeadles，andelucidativeoftheposition，thatabeadlecandonowrong：whichcouldnotfailtohavebeenbothpleasurableandprofitabletotheright-mindedreaderbutwhichheisunfortunatelycompelled，bywantoftimeandspace，topostponetosomemoreconvenientandfittingopportunity；onthearrivalofwhich，hewillbepreparedtoshow，thatabeadleproperlyconstituted：thatistosay，aparochialbeadle，attachedtoaparochailworkhouse，andattendinginhisofficialcapacitytheparochialchurch：is，inrightandvirtueofhisoffice，possessedofalltheexcellencesandbestqualitiesofhumanity；andthattononeofthoseexcellences，canmerecompanies‘beadles，orcourt-of-lawbeadles，orevenchapel-of-easebeadles（savethelast，andtheyinaverylowlyandinferiordegree），laytheremotestsustainableclaim。
Mr。Bumblehadre-countedtheteaspoons，re-weighedthesugar-tongs，madeacloserinspectionofthemilk-pot，andascertainedtoanicetytheexactconditionofthefurniture，downtotheveryhorse-hairseatsofthechairs；andhadrepeatedeachprocessfullhalfadozentimes；beforehebegantothinkthatitwastimeforMrs。Corneytoreturn。Thinkingbegetsthinking；astherewerenosoundsofMrs。Corney'sapproach，itoccuredtoMr。Bumblethatitwouldbeaninnocentandvirtuouswayofspendingthetime，ifhewerefurthertoallayhiscuriousitybyacursoryglanceattheinteriorofMrs。Corney'schestofdrawers。
Havinglistenedatthekeyhole，toassurehimselfthatnobodywasapproachingthechamber，Mr。Bumble，beginningatthebottom，proceededtomakehimselfacquaintedwiththecontentsofthethreelongdrawers：which，beingfilledwithvariousgarmentsofgoodfashionandtexture，carefullypreservedbetweentwolayersofoldnewspapers，speckledwithdriedlavender：seemedtoyieldhimexceedingsatisfaction。Arriving，incourseoftime，attheright-handcornerdrawer（inwhichwasthekey），andbeholdingthereinasmallpadlockedbox，which，beingshaken，gaveforthapleasantsound，asofthechinkingofcoin，Mr。Bumblereturnedwithastatelywalktothefireplace；and，resuminghisoldattitude，said，withagraveanddeterminedair，‘I'lldoit！’Hefollowedupthisremarkabledeclaration，byshakinghisheadinawaggishmannerfortenminutes，asthoughhewereremonstratingwithhimselfforbeingsuchapleasantdog；andthen，hetookaviewofhislegsinprofile，withmuchseemingpleasureandinterest。
Hewasstillplacidlyengagedinthislattersurvey，whenMrs。Corney，hurryingintotheroom，threwherself，inabreathlessstate，onachairbythefireside，andcoveringhereyeswithonehand，placedtheotheroverherheart，andgaspedforbreath。
‘Mrs。Corney，’saidMr。Bumble，stoopingoverthematron，‘whatisthis，ma'am？Hasanythinghappened，ma'am？Prayanswerme：I'mon--on--’Mr。Bumble，inhisalarm，couldnotimmediatelythinkoftheword‘tenterhooks，’sohesaid‘brokenbottles。’
‘Oh，Mr。Bumble！’criedthelady，‘Ihavebeensodreadfullyputout！’
‘Putout，ma'am！’exclaimedMr。Bumble；‘whohasdaredto--？Iknow！’saidMr。Bumble，checkinghimself，withnativemajesty，‘thisisthemwiciouspaupers！’
‘It'sdreadfultothinkof！’saidthelady，shuddering。
‘Then_don't_thinkofit，ma'am，’rejoinedMr。Bumble。
‘Ican'thelpit，’whimperedthelady。
‘Thentakesomething，ma'am，’saidMr。Bumblesoothingly。‘Alittleofthewine？’
‘Notfortheworld！’repliedMrs。Corney。‘Icouldn't，--oh！Thetopshelfintheright-handcorner--oh！’Utteringthesewords，thegoodladypointed，distractedly，tothecupboard，andunderwentaconvulsionfrominternalspasms。Mr。Bumblerushedtothecloset；and，snatchingapintgreen-glassbottlefromtheshelfthusincoherentlyindicated，filledatea-cupwithitscontents，andheldittothelady'slips。
‘I'mbetternow，’saidMrs。Corney，fallingback，afterdrinkinghalfofit。
Mr。Bumbleraisedhiseyespiouslytotheceilinginthankfulness；and，bringingthemdownagaintothebrimofthecup，liftedittohisnose。
‘Peppermint，’exclaimedMrs。Corney，inafaintvoice，smilinggentlyonthebeadleasshespoke。‘Tryit！There'salittle--alittlesomethingelseinit。’
Mr。Bumbletastedthemedicinewithadoubtfullook；smackedhislips；tookanothertaste；andputthecupdownempty。
‘It'sverycomforting，’saidMrs。Corney。
‘Verymuchsoindeed，ma'am，’saidthebeadle。Ashespoke，hedrewachairbesidethematron，andtenderlyinquiredwhathadhappenedtodistressher。
‘Nothing，’repliedMrs。Corney。‘Iamafoolish，excitable，weakcreetur。’
‘Notweak，ma'am，’retortedMr。Bumble，drawinghischairalittlecloser。‘Areyouaweakcreetur，Mrs。Corney？’
‘Weareallweakcreeturs，’saidMrs。Corney，layingdownageneralprinciple。
‘Soweare，’saidthebeadle。
Nothingwassaidoneitherside，foraminuteortwoafterwards。Bytheexpirationofthattime，Mr。BumblehadillustratedthepositionbyremovinghisleftarmfromthebackofMrs。Corney'schair，whereithadpreviouslyrested，toMrs。Corney'sapron-string，roundwhichitgraduallybecameentwined。
‘Weareallweakcreeturs，’saidMr。Bumble。
Mrs。Corneysighed。
‘Don'tsigh，Mrs。Corney，’saidMr。Bumble。
‘Ican'thelpit，’saidMrs。Corney。Andshesighedagain。
‘Thisisaverycomfortableroom，ma'am，’saidMr。Bumblelookinground。‘Anotherroom，andthis，ma'am，wouldbeacompletething。’
‘Itwouldbetoomuchforone，’murmuredthelady。
‘Butnotfortwo，ma'am，’rejoinedMr。Bumble，insoftaccents。‘Eh，Mrs。Corney？’
Mrs。Corneydroopedherhead，whenthebeadlesaidthis；thebeadledroopedhis，togetaviewofMrs。Corney'sface。Mrs。Corney，withgreatpropriety，turnedherheadaway，andreleasedherhandtogetatherpocket-handkerchief；butinsensiblyreplaceditinthatofMr。Bumble。
‘Theboardallowsyoucoals，don'tthey，Mrs。Corney？’inquiredthebeadle，affectionatelypressingherhand。
‘Andcandles，’repliedMrs。Corney，slightlyreturningthepressure。
‘Coals，candles，andhouse-rentfree，’saidMr。Bumble。‘Oh，Mrs。Corney，whatanAngelyouare！’
Theladywasnotproofagainstthisburstoffeeling。ShesankintoMr。Bumble'sarms；andthatgentlemaninhisagitation，imprintedapassionatekissuponherchastenose。
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