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INWHICHTHEREADERMAYPERCEIVEACONTRAST，NOTUNCOMMONINMATRIMONIALCASES
Mr。Bumblesatintheworkhouseparlour，withhiseyesmoodilyfixedonthecheerlessgrate，whence，asitwassummertime，nobrightergleamproceeded，thanthereflectionofcertainsicklyraysofthesun，whichweresentbackfromitscoldandshiningsurface。Apaperfly-cagedangledfromtheceiling，towhichheoccasionallyraisedhiseyesingloomythought；and，astheheedlessinsectshoveredroundthegaudynet-work，Mr。Bumblewouldheaveadeepsigh，whileamoregloomyshadowoverspreadhiscountenance。Mr。Bumblewasmeditating；itmightbethattheinsectsbroughttomind，somepainfulpassageinhisownpastlife。
NorwasMr。Bumble'sgloomtheonlythingcalculatedtoawakenapleasingmelancholyinthebosomofaspectator。Therewerenotwantingotherappearances，andthosecloselyconnectedwithhisownperson，whichannouncedthatagreatchangehadtakenplaceinthepositionofhisaffairs。Thelacedcoat，andthecockedhat；wherewerethey？Hestillworeknee-breeches，anddarkcottonstockingsonhisnetherlimbs；buttheywerenot_the_breeches。Thecoatwaswide-skirted；andinthatrespectlike_the_coat，but，ohhowdifferent！Themightycockedhatwasreplacedbyamodestroundone。Mr。Bumblewasnolongerabeadle。
Therearesomepromotionsinlife，which，independentofthemoresubstantialrewardstheyoffer，requirepeculiarvalueanddignityfromthecoatsandwaistcoatsconnectedwiththem。Afield-marshalhashisuniform；abishophissilkapron；acounsellorhissilkgown；abeadlehiscockedhat。Stripthebishopofhisapron，orthebeadleofhishatandlace；whatarethey？Men。Meremen。Dignity，andevenholinesstoo，sometimes，aremorequestionsofcoatandwaistcoatthansomepeopleimagine。
Mr。BumblehadmarriedMrs。Corney，andwasmasteroftheworkhouse。Anotherbeadlehadcomeintopower。Onhimthecockedhat，gold-lacedcoat，andstaff，hadallthreedescended。
‘Andto-morrowtwomonthsitwasdone！’saidMr。Bumble，withasigh。‘Itseemsaage。’
Mr。Bumblemighthavemeantthathehadconcentratedawholeexistenceofhappinessintotheshortspaceofeightweeks；butthesigh--therewasavastdealofmeaninginthesigh。
‘Isoldmyself，’saidMr。Bumble，pursuingthesametrainofrelection，‘forsixteaspoons，apairofsugar-tongs，andamilk-pot；withasmallquantityofsecond-handfurniture，andtwentypoundinmoney。Iwentveryreasonable。Cheap，dirtcheap！’
‘Cheap！’criedashrillvoiceinMr。Bumble'sear：‘youwouldhavebeendearatanyprice；anddearenoughIpaidforyou，Lordaboveknowsthat！’
Mr。Bumbleturned，andencounteredthefaceofhisinterestingconsort，who，imperfectlycomprehendingthefewwordsshehadoverheardofhiscomplaint，hadhazardedtheforegoingremarkataventure。
‘Mrs。Bumble，ma'am！’saidMr。Bumble，withasentimentalsternness。
‘Well！’criedthelady。
‘Havethegoodnesstolookatme，’saidMr。Bumble，fixinghiseyesuponher。（Ifshestandssuchaeyeasthat，‘saidMr。Bumbletohimself，’shecanstandanything。ItisaeyeIneverknewtofailwithpaupers。Ifitfailswithher，mypowerisgone。‘）
Whetheranexceedinglysmallexpansionofeyebesufficienttoquellpaupers，who，beinglightlyfed，areinnoveryhighcondition；orwhetherthelateMrs。Corneywasparticularlyproofagainsteagleglances；aremattersofopinion。Thematteroffact，is，thatthematronwasinnowayoverpoweredbyMr。Bumble'sscowl，but，onthecontrary，treateditwithgreatdisdain，andevenraisedalaughthereat，whichsoundedasthoughitweregenuine。
Onhearingthismostunexpectedsound，Mr。Bumblelooked，firstincredulous，andafterwardsamazed。Hethenrelapsedintohisformerstate；nordidherousehimselfuntilhisattentionwasagainawakenedbythevoiceofhispartner。
‘Areyougoingtositsnoringthere，allday？’inquiredMrs。Bumble。
‘Iamgoingtosithere，aslongasIthinkproper，ma'am，’rejoinedMr。Bumble；‘andalthoughIwas_not_snoring，Ishallsnore，gape，sneeze，laugh，orcry，asthehumourstrikesme；suchbeingmyprerogative。’
‘_Your_prerogative！’sneeredMrs。Bumble，withineffablecontempt。
‘Isaidtheword，ma'am，’saidMr。Bumble。‘Theprerogativeofamanistocommand。’
‘Andwhat'stheprerogativeofawoman，inthenameofGoodness？’criedtherelictofMr。Corneydeceased。
‘Toobey，ma'am，’thunderedMr。Bumble。‘Yourlateunfortunatehusbandshouldhavetaughtityou；andthen，perhaps，hemighthavebeenalivenow。Iwishhewas，poorman！’
Mrs。Bumble，seeingataglance，thatthedecisivemomenthadnowarrived，andthatablowstruckforthemastershipononesideorother，mustnecessarilybefinalandconclusive，nosoonerheardthisallusiontothedeadandgone，thanshedroppedintoachair，andwithaloudscreamthatMr。Bumblewasahard-heartedbrute，fellintoaparoxysmoftears。
But，tearswerenotthethingstofindtheirwaytoMr。Bumble'ssoul；hisheartwaswaterproof。Likewashablebeaverhatsthatimprovewithrain，hisnerveswererenderedstouterandmorevigorous，byshowersoftears，which，beingtokensofweakness，andsofartacitadmissionsofhisownpower，pleasedandexaltedhim。Heeyedhisgoodladywithlooksofgreatsatisfaction，andbegged，inanencouragingmanner，thatsheshouldcryherhardest：theexercisebeinglookedupon，bythefaculty，asstronglyconducivetohealth。
‘Itopensthelungs，washesthecountenance，exercisestheeyes，andsoftensdownthetemper，’saidMr。Bumble。‘Socryaway。’
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